Let's take for granted that humans are not infinite beings. No one is perfect, we all have our big and small flaws. So far everything is understandable and reasonable.
But there are some flaws that are not small, nor cute, that are not the salt and the taste in a relationship but rather the tombstone.
A relationship is always about two people, two different and extremely opposite characters, and the only way to survive is this personal “deal”, what we call “mutual compromises”.
But there are also people whose selfishness does not allow them to give up and my experience makes me believe that where selfishness comes in, the faith goes away running.
Selfish personalities beyond self-centeredness are usually dominated by narcissism and arrogance. They love themselves so much that they leave no doubt if they can truly love someone else.
They strive to always have control, the “upper hand”. They often tend to become oppressive and obsessive. They rely on their difficult past that has hardened them, while in fact they simply operate with a hierarchy where their master reigns at the top.
They require you to follow their own schedule, satisfy their own needs, fill their own gaps, are indifferent to your own “want” and needs, and actually use you as a tool to achieve their own balance.
Their selfishness elevates themselves to something higher with the immediate consequence of your own moral degradation. Priority undoubtedly their own interest, serenity and prosperity, indifferent to your own mental needs.
They will not run behind you of course, they will not pick up their handset, nor will they send the first message you so expect, they will not admit their mistake or they will probably wait for your 'apology' even if you are not sorry. They will not stop you when you leave, it will not close the door for you to go out, nor will your own bell ring.
His behavior will give him an instant supremacy, a sense of power or even superiority; the selfish will feel proud of his overwhelmed “I” who did not bend. But it will not be long before loneliness and emptiness follow as a result of what he did or did not do.
And this scene will be repeated many times, with the protagonists changing, but the stakes remain the same.
As for whether selfishness is cured, it is like asking if people are changing. They change, as long as they realize it and most of all they want it.
Maybe it's not the monster I'm presenting, it might make some retreat. But are you sure she doesn't do it to reverse roles and regain control?
A selfish man cannot fall in love. He can claim in order to conquer. Yes, he can do it successfully as it is a challenge and a victory for himself.
But it is weak in reality and cowardly. This cowardice he is trying to cover up when he seeks control and his “stingy” hard face.
And cowardly people are incapable of living it, unable to fall in love, and are not worthy of it. The faith wants sacrifices and mutual concessions. He wants you to fall with the mud and have a chance to break them.
The faith does not like control. No one has the “upper hand” here. They have both hands together, even when slaughtered.
You have to be ready not to find each other in the middle of the journey, but to do it all by yourself to find it, no matter how big or difficult it is.
Love is not a measure, it is not calculated. You cannot put your emotions in a sack, you can measure them in the scales with his own to see if he is equal. And if you could, you wouldn't want to do it, you wouldn't care.
So do not fall in love with selfishness, besides being malicious, they are dangerously logical. They count on what they gave, do not give anything more and affect their selfishness.
Only crazy people would fall in love, they would go the miles for you, climb mountains, just for a smile.