You went through a thousand waves and got lost in invalid and false loves that left you smaller each time.
In their eyes you were all the bad and all the beautiful values that you had were degraded and canceled in front of them to such an extent that they convinced you for a while. Too little to be loved, unworthy to keep their interest undiminished and too small for their greatness. They take you big and heavy with an appetite to live and they leave you in ruins.
You now feel unworthy and walk bent over – literally and figuratively. Your self-confidence and confidence have gone for a walk. You don't trust your decisions, you don't trust your instincts, you don't even trust yourself. You end up looking years older than you are and you live in misery and uncertainty.
You are convinced and believe that true loves and modern princesses and princesses are not for you and you end up falling into the first hug that will be on your way and will show you even the slightest interest. You keep them a little out of fear of not being alone because your mind is set up anyway with the belief that you don't deserve anything more. You limit yourself to thinking about the insults they receive and the incompetence they have inflicted on you and ignore all your strengths.
You are looking to find your recognition and value in the faces of others, you want to gain prestige and importance through the love of someone else. But you know very well that if you do not love yourself and your particularities, no one else will. The value and substance that others give you is what inspires you. If you don't appreciate and respect your individual, don't demand that others do it.
Until you understand this, of course, you have lost a lot of your time in invalid hugs full of hatred and exploitation. You give to people full of selfishness, jealousy and underestimation and you treat them like the loves of your life.It is no wonder that every time your great love came out a great asshole.
You always choose the same type of partner and then you complain about your luck being a black cat.
I don't want to spoil it for you, but it's not your fault. It's your fault that he doesn't make the decision to see things differently. Don't wait to be loved for your own good when all you have to do is show your insecurities and worries.
Would you ever fall for someone who is constantly miserable and anxious? You admire dynamic people, those people who magnetize you with a conversation and a look. They also have insecurities and fears, but they also know their strengths and they choose to show off. They know that the attention and value they receive from others depends on them.
Confidence cannot be the product of an external factor. The word itself indicates this. It is work that is done within us, internal mechanisms of our mind and psychology that no one else can understand and work. Without working and philosophizing about the desires and expectations you have of a relationship, you are not able to choose which person is right for you and who you should politely reject.
Lack of self-confidence creates deficient, one-sided and obsessive relationships given the expiration date. You may need to go through a lot of such relationships before you finally burst and see that you are worth more, or rather that you are generally worth it.
The time will come when you will feel all the hatred and contempt you have received from your partners will turn into strength and claim. At that moment, you will be able to welcome someone worthy of your life and create a relationship with all the prospects for success.
It will be like the good old wine. The more time passes, the more you will dry up and become stronger.
Because the power will come from within you and not from the other, because now you will know what you deserve and you will claim it, because very simply you will no longer be their frayed, used toy, but the trophy they want to conquer and keep. .
Georgia Efstratiou writes