An Indian proverb
There are different things going on in our lives. Some of them are good, but there are some that we characterize as unfavorable to us and are the trigger for our suffering, sadness, disappointment, hurt, and even depression.
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For some, we have been criticized, condemned, dismissed, or taken the “less frequent” path.
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We made some choices based on facts and common sense, and some were contrary to what reason or the people around us suggested. We made some choices because of empathy.
Empathy is our ability to feel and think the way another person feels and / or thinks.
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It is one of the most important personality traits that allows us to enjoy another person's experience, facilitate social interaction, cooperate with others, resolve conflicts, better understand the person across from us, and accordingly act to reflect on the feelings and position of the other.
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Empathy is often associated with morality, helping others, caring for others, and in general, its goal is to create and improve the well-being of people, as well as to create a common good and harmony.
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However, too much empathy can blind us and lead us to decisions that result in great difficulty and distress for ourselves.
There are three types of empathy: cognitive empathy (when we think what the other person thinks), affective empathy (we feel what the other person is feeling), and a combination of the two here, followed by motivation and the need to do something.
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A large percentage of us have experienced this form of empathy to some degree and it is desirable to possess it so that we can function more effectively in the world around us and build a better society.
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It is also a rule that the stronger our relationship with someone, the more empathy we feel, the stronger and likely they will be at the cognitive and emotional levels, and we will want to do something to improve that dear person's position.
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However, the question is, to what extent is emptia constructive for us and where does empathy cease and self-destruction begins?
Every decision we make out of empathy, and because of which we bear the consequences and which threatens our psychological well-being, is a time when it would be desirable to reconsider ourselves.
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How important are we to ourselves and how much do we really respect ourselves? What consequences could happen if we did not do what we plan to do or what consequences we have after doing something driven by empathy? Is it really the background of some of our decisions that fears of losing an emotional relationship with that person or fears of losing a part of ourselves?
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Very often, too much empathy means neglecting oneself, and no individual can live a fulfilling, meaningful life if they neglect themselves and their own needs.
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No relationship is purposeful and enriching, if the other party exceeds its limits and becomes not only a person who empathizes, helps, motivates, but actually leads himself into the path of sacrifice and creates a prohibition on the existence, importance and expression of his own needs, desires.
Remember, the more similar we are to the person across from us, and the empathy gets stronger and allows us a higher level of enjoyment. On this side, empathy can actually be a starting point for our personal development and self-realization.
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What is it that we are like with someone we empathize with? Couldn't we have wanted to notice it with ourselves, so we had to learn the hard way, empathizing beyond our own limits and making decisions that seemed illogical, irrational?
Or are decisions that are “irrational” actually decisions that are perfectly in line with our personality that we have yet to fully discover?
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Hmm … let's just look at things from this angle. However, nothing happens by accident and it is up to us to discover the secrets of our own behavior and decisions.